Adult ADD

Question: I have recently left a four year relationship with a man who was abusive, and I suspected had adult ADD/ADHD, but I never confirmed this.  He consistently canceled plans, did not show up, left me places, was very disrespectful, forgot dates, was terribly disorganized, made plans and talked a lot, but never implemented them, and would justify all of these behaviors.  It drove me crazy for lack of a better word and frustrated me, and destroyed any hopes of a healthy relationship.  If I had known what he had and he worked to get help, I would have been understanding, but he would justify his bad manners instead of owning them and even get an attitude about it. He did see a MH professional and was taking some non-ADD medications but would not tell me what his diagnosis was. He had substance abuse issues also.  I suffer from depression myself and I could not longer be in this relationship, due to his abusive and unreliable behavior.  My question is, does his behavior sound like ADD or ADHD or more than likely Anti-Social Personality Disorder?

Answer: It sounds to me very much like ADD behavior: forgetfulness, disorganization, difficulty f0llowing through and also, what sometimes happens, having difficulty accepting the feelings of guilt and shame that follow from the negative reactions of others.  It’s a pity that so many MH professional don’t appreciate how ADD affects the lives of adults and think of it only as a children’s disorder.  Most are not trained to recognize ADD, to coach people with it, or to refer patients for evaluation for stimulant treatment.  Substance abuse is not uncommon in people with ADD but it is less common in those who are treated with stimulants.